Johnny’s Workshop

April 13, 2007

UFO – April 1st, 2007

Filed under: 3ds Max 9 — april15th @ 2:29 pm

As I mentioned in the Comments section of a recent post, an important part of chronicling my evolution from painfully hopeless to barely adept is a willingness to post work that just isn’t very good. How else will future generations marvel at my steady accumulation of knowledge and the stylish application thereof?

I created this particular image using a combination of 3ds Max 9 and Photoshop. The UFO was created via a simple method known as box modelling and Photoshop was used to give it the unnecessary blur. In regards to the previous sentence, I did consider turning the words ‘box modelling’ into a useful hyperlink but then I changed my mind. “Make them do the work,” I decided.


My chief objective right now is to successfully integrate realistic-looking 3D / synthetic objects into real-world environments, so the above image represents the first step. I like the idea of an on-going series of UFO shots, each more hoax-worthy than the last.

Let me know what you think.

By the way, the lightning is real. I captured that shot during the Australia Day storm that hammered Geelong in 2005. Oh man, good times …



  1. World Record Comment. I like the little hook lightening on the right. Can we have a whodunnit party on that balcony one day?

    Comment by Ed — April 13, 2007 @ 2:32 pm | Reply

  2. Impressive, Ed! Not even one minute elapsed between publishing the post and my receipt of your comment.

    You know, it’s a real shame that a little ‘Gold Medal’ JPG image doesn’t appear alongside the first Comment. Maybe we could write to the WordPress developers and pitch the idea, along with a Widget that keeps track of a user’s on-going tally. Doing it manually is a pain in the ass not at all in keeping with the lazy, sedentary lifestyle we’ve come to know and love.

    Comment by april15th — April 13, 2007 @ 2:43 pm | Reply

  3. Have you seen that Family Guy ep with the drunken conversation between Peter and his Irish Dad? Your comment reminded me of that and I chuckled. Good idea though. Very good idea. They’d probably suggest that if you wrote a good enough script then they’d allow it or something.

    Comment by Ed — April 13, 2007 @ 2:54 pm | Reply

  4. I don’t have time to bleed … or to write scripts, unfortunately.

    By the way, you need never ask if I’ve seen a particular episode of Family Guy. In fact, if you reference any episode of Family Guy, South Park or Futurama, you can rest assured I’ve seen it at least twice. Well, seen it at least once and probably listened to it a number of times, too. I always have episodes playing in the background when I’m doing things like Photoshop work or experiments within 3ds Max.

    Actually, I’ve recently taken to playing videotaped conferences, speeches, etc. available via Google Video and YouTube. They’re a lot more educational. The videos about government conspiracies are my favourites, though. We should get the gang together sometime and have a “conspiracy video marathon” … that’d be awesome!

    Comment by april15th — April 13, 2007 @ 3:28 pm | Reply

  5. Heyy, I think I just acquired a ‘silver medal’! I’m new to this, but from what I understand, a person can’t claim more than one medal per post, nor can the person who posted the blog receive one for commenting on his/her own site!

    Haaa haaa haa! EAT IT BITCHES!!! I rule you all!!!

    PS: Aliens make me scared in my tummy…

    Comment by Sheri — April 13, 2007 @ 3:34 pm | Reply

  6. Where’s the little green alien waving at me? Fake!!! LOLOLOL!

    Comment by Blobs — April 13, 2007 @ 4:16 pm | Reply

  7. On a side note, does your blog writing page no longer give you the option to write visually? Mine is only letting me use code and I’m not proficient enough to do so. Any thoughts?

    Comment by Ed — April 13, 2007 @ 4:22 pm | Reply

  8. I was still able to write mine the normal way. Maybe WordPress wants to force you into becoming proficient with HTML.

    Sheri, you did indeed win a silver medal. Well done! Robin, you took out the bronze. I don’t need to tell you that I’m very disappointed. Something was lacking. Let’s call it … heart.

    Comment by april15th — April 13, 2007 @ 4:30 pm | Reply

  9. Let’s call it … slanty text

    Comment by Blobs — April 13, 2007 @ 11:39 pm | Reply

  10. Robin, that’s twice you’ve disappointed me. I’d set you up to write, “No hussle either, Skip!” so that I could reply, “That’s right, Darryl.”

    Oh well, at least you’re commenting on my posts now. Much obliged.

    Comment by april15th — April 14, 2007 @ 1:03 am | Reply

  11. I was at Reading’s the day that photo was taken. We were there with Tom Duck, Sarah Study, Bec Fairchild, Ben Anderson etc. We were watching a film – ‘Finding Neverland’ if my memory serves me correctly. The storm came in and somehow flooded the circuitry at the cinema complex. This triggered the fire alarms and we were evacuated 20 minutes into the film. It was a great day because not only did I get a full refund, but I also got to see all the cinema ads, previews and a 20 minute sneak peak of ‘Finding Neverland’. The question is: have you found yours?

    Comment by Jonty Rhodes — April 14, 2007 @ 2:23 am | Reply

  12. I wish you a very happy birthday. Have a wonderful year.
    Great work!

    Comment by Tessa — April 15, 2007 @ 3:26 pm | Reply

  13. Hey John,

    Just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday! I agree with Sheri, aliens make me scared in my tummy too. Signs must have messed with my head 🙂


    Comment by Jen — April 16, 2007 @ 2:18 am | Reply

  14. Is my plant dead yet, bitch?

    Comment by crommo — April 16, 2007 @ 4:10 pm | Reply

  15. Crommo, are you referring to my bonsai? As in, the one that belongs to me and not you? If so, you’ll be pleased to know it’s alive and well.

    I’ll admit that when I initially laid eyes on it, one of the first thoughts to enter my head was, “Man, that thing’s doomed. Under my care, it’s not going to last a week,” but I’ve since vowed that it will be treated with the utmost care and thus serve as a proud symbol of my self-discipline and desire for excellence.

    Not only will my bonsai outlast yours, it will be regarded by all as by far the superior of the two trees.

    Perhaps I’m being a tad presumptuous, though. I have no reason to believe yours is even alive any more.

    Either way, I am genuinely grateful for the gift. So again, many thanks! Suzy, the same goes for you. You crazy kids made a big contribution yesterday and I was (and remain) very appreciative.

    My sincere gratitude also goes out to Tessa and Jen for the lovely and unexpected birthday wishes. Your messages put a big smile on my face and helped make the day special, so thank-you for taking the time to write!

    Jonty, I haven’t found my Neverland yet, but I haven’t seen the movie, either, so I’m going to hold off on the search until I do. I like to think my Neverland will include a ferris wheel and lots of exotic animals … maybe even a choo-choo train and tree perfectly-suited to climbing. Who knows? I’ll have to get back to you on the subject.

    Comment by april15th — April 16, 2007 @ 4:56 pm | Reply

  16. Yes, your plant. Ok, ok.

    I’m glad you liked it. I do not want to turn it into a competition with the bonsai’s because lets face it, you have more time to make yours awesome than i do. So it wouldn’t be fair. Anyway, I’m having toast for tea because your stupid sister isn’t here to a)cook for me, or b) provide me with enough money so as I can purchase ingredients to cook for myself.

    Anyway, John-Paul… there’s something I’ve been wanting to say for sometime now. Something that rings true to the core of our relationship. I have feelings for you… John-Paul…. I… I… I tolerate you.

    Comment by crommo — April 16, 2007 @ 5:24 pm | Reply

  17. What?! No more medals? Already?!

    Oh, screw this, I ain’t gonna waste time posting on this blog.

    Comment by Suzy J. — April 16, 2007 @ 8:30 pm | Reply

  18. I’m sick of medals. I don’t give a shit. From now on, when people announce what kind of medal they win, I shall remove that particular word from their comment. For example “Gold!” will go.

    Comment by crommo — April 16, 2007 @ 10:20 pm | Reply

  19. I don’t care, I’m still proud I won SILVER! It’s such an honour to be recognized! Thank you to the academy, and to my producer, and to all the fans… and especially to God who made it all happen!

    John, I just wanted to point out that you laughed at me when I said “Signs” was a scarey movie. Well, it scared Jen too, so I’m not the only one! It’s not my fault I’m a scare-edy cat!

    Comment by Sheri — April 19, 2007 @ 11:00 pm | Reply

  20. I never disagreed with you about Signs being a scary movie … it is scary. Scarily CRAP.

    Comment by april15th — April 20, 2007 @ 12:38 am | Reply

  21. YOU’RE scarily crap!

    Comment by canadiansheri — April 20, 2007 @ 5:03 am | Reply

  22. Oh, yeah? You and what army?

    Comment by april15th — April 20, 2007 @ 12:46 pm | Reply

  23. The one that lives large and kicks butt!

    Comment by Suzy J. — April 20, 2007 @ 5:09 pm | Reply

  24. Takes one to know one!!!!

    Comment by Sheri — April 20, 2007 @ 5:35 pm | Reply

  25. Hi John!

    Just stopped by to check out your blog and say Happy Belated Birthday! Hope you had a good one. I would have written sooner, but was actually away on your b-day. Oh… and happy ANZAC Day! Hope all is well with you! Cool pics too!

    Comment by Sharon — April 23, 2007 @ 8:09 am | Reply

  26. Hey! Four of my friends commented on your blog! That’s very cool! I had to pay out some pretty sweet cash to pull those favours, so I hope you appreciate it!

    Comment by Sheri — April 26, 2007 @ 7:36 am | Reply

  27. I’m bored by your blog.

    Comment by crommo — April 26, 2007 @ 7:39 pm | Reply

  28. Hey…. I’m starting to feel ripped off. First, Sheri doesn’t pay me my freakin’ two bucks for leaving you a message… and it’s three days later, and I haven’t heard a damn word from you John! What’s up with that???? Hee Hee

    Comment by Sharon — April 27, 2007 @ 10:21 am | Reply

  29. Sorry, Sharon! I have been meaning to reply ever since you posted, not least because it was a wonderful treat to hear from you. What’s more, it impressed me no end that you wished me a happy ANZAC Day; it’s been years since I told you about the significance of the occasion and I’m delighted that you remembered the date!

    I’ve been a lousy correspondent and near-useless contributor to blogs of late, all because of a hard drive failure within my main desktop computer. Without access to the content and software on that computer, I’ve had to busy myself with other things and I basically chose to put my blogging on hold. Thankfully, a replacement hard drive is due to arrive in the mail today, so within the next few days, I’ll be getting right back into the swing of things.

    Don’t be discouraged by this first experience! I’m usually very quick to reply and I’ll always be thrilled to hear from you.

    Comment by april15th — April 27, 2007 @ 1:48 pm | Reply

  30. LIES! You owe me like 80 bajillion email replies and 700 sms replies.

    And yes, I’m aware that you don’t have a mobile, but I’ve just been dishing them out to random numbers. I think you could work a bit harder to retrieve them from the population.


    Comment by Ed — April 27, 2007 @ 3:03 pm | Reply

  31. Sorry?? SORRY?!?!?! Lies… all lies!!!

    Just kidding man! Great to hear from you too. And now that Sheri’s blog is closing down (for now, anyway), I will just have to torment you all the more. I’ve discovered just how fun this is… though I won’t be starting my own blog anytime soon. I’ve just joined Facebook…. good lord, I can waste alot of time on there!

    Comment by Sharon — April 28, 2007 @ 7:49 am | Reply

  32. It’s been nine hours since I closed down my blog and I’m starting to get the shakes. Detox is rough man. Or maybe it’s because I had ZERO hours of sleep today. By the time I get home from the gym tomorrow morning, I’ll have been awake for 36 straight hours. For the record, I blame you. But since I am no longer allowed to comment on blogs, I am glad Sharon is going to carry on the tradition of harassing you.

    Comment by Sheri — April 28, 2007 @ 2:44 pm | Reply

  33. Sheri? What’s going on? Closed? CLOSED?

    Comment by crommo — May 2, 2007 @ 9:17 am | Reply

  34. Yeah… I know, it’s sad. I miss it already, but the good thing is, I’ve been away from my computer and out enjoying the sunshine. I will probably start it up again after the summer. Screw John and his stupid rules though, I’ll still be around once in awhile to post a comment!

    By the way John, it’s time to update your blog! I’m sick of your stupid UFO pic!

    Comment by canadiansheri — May 3, 2007 @ 2:44 pm | Reply

  35. Patience, children. I’m getting closer.

    I’ve spent the past two-and-a-half days rebuilding my desktop computer and it should only be another day or two before all my legally-acquired programs have been reinstalled and activated via their legitimate serial numbers (thereby complimenting my equally-legitimate copy of Windows XP Professional).

    Good thing, too. I’ll finally be able to resume the study of all those expensive tutorial videos and eBooks for which I paid good, hard-earned money.

    Comment by april15th — May 3, 2007 @ 4:57 pm | Reply

  36. Hmmmph. I see Anita Ho’s latest contribution to your blog hasn’t made it past the comments moderator. Just as well, I suppose. You two should really work out your issues in private. Even still, I’m disappointed…

    Comment by Sheri — May 3, 2007 @ 7:12 pm | Reply

  37. Just so you know, I checked your site seven times over the course of the past nine hours while I’ve been at work, just so I could be your 1,000th visitor. I deserve a prize! You suck, I didn’t even get balloons and confetti falling from the ceiling… I bet Suzy or Crommo or Eddie would’ve gotten confetti. Why don’t you just admit it?! You’re racist against Austrian-Canadians!!

    Comment by Sheri — May 3, 2007 @ 10:26 pm | Reply

  38. Is it some sort of magic computer? You know, you photoshop a cloud and the cloud comes to life! That sort of computer?

    Comment by Ed — May 3, 2007 @ 11:50 pm | Reply

  39. *Sigh* … No, Ed.

    The previous build did, however, make some very important files disappear without a trace; that’s kind of magical.

    What a relief the old System partition didn’t include a fortnight’s worth of now-unrecoverable BF2 modding work, though. Otherwise I’d be extremely aggravated and perhaps writing these very words through gritted teeth.

    Comment by april15th — May 4, 2007 @ 3:12 am | Reply

  40. Is this one of those ‘Homer stepping on a rusty nail and not swearing’ moments?

    Comment by Ed — May 4, 2007 @ 10:47 am | Reply

  41. Dude… for real, that sucks.

    Within said “fortnight”, did you hate “the Colonel”, with his wee beady eyes and smug look … because of the addictive chemicals he puts in his chicken?

    Comment by canadiansheri — May 4, 2007 @ 12:51 pm | Reply

  42. “Fiddle-dee-dee … that will require a new hard disk. I’m not going to swear … but I am going to KICK THIS MINI-TOWER DOWN!”

    The last meal I had from KFC was just deplorable. Their so-called “Classic Filler” was so amateurish it could have been a short film written by Kate Fischer.

    Come to think of it, all the meals I’ve ever had from KFC have been disgusting. The Colonel would be rolling in his grave.

    Comment by april15th — May 4, 2007 @ 3:41 pm | Reply

  43. * sigh * I miss you, buddy! I feel like I haven’t talked to you in ages! I am hosting Girls Night at my house tonight (Friday) and Saturday my family is coming down from Niagara Falls for an afternoon of go-karting and laser tag. I am super excited about laser tag!! So the next time I’ll be on-line for an extended period of time will be Sunday morning, hopefully you’ll be around so we can chat for a bit then.

    I see you still haven’t updated your dumb blog. You’re lucky you hate KFC, probably as much as I do, otherwise I’d for sure have to beat your ass.

    Hey, you want to know something funny? A friend of mine recently told me he worked at Cadbury Canada (as in the Cadbury chocolate factory, which is based here in Ontario), and his job title was a labourer/packer for guess what type of product?! FUDGE. I swear that’s a true story.

    *tear* … man that’s just good stuff…

    Comment by Sheri — May 4, 2007 @ 5:23 pm | Reply

  44. I’ll put $20 on the fact that he’s ripping the absolute piss out of you.

    Comment by Ed — May 5, 2007 @ 12:57 am | Reply

  45. A fudge-packer working at Cadbury. Hmmm… how do you put that on your resume?? How could anyone ever take someone seriously after reading that? LMAO

    I agree with Sheri… it’s high time you updated this thing. I haven’t seen an update for as long as I’ve had the privilege of reading it. Even though it’s only been a couple of weeks, that’s no damn excuse! Really… you should try to be more like Sheri. Well… aside from the fact that her blog is on hiatus, she did do updates quite regularly!

    I’m friggin’ bored man…. tell me a story.

    Comment by Sharon — May 5, 2007 @ 12:11 pm | Reply

  46. I trusted you … I believed in you and your ‘short film’ hyperlink, so I clicked on it. And watched it. All excruciating 8.5 minutes. Right down to the weird “Anybody want a hot-dog?” song.

    I … I … I don’t know what to say, John. I thought we were friends… Why would you subject me to that and betray my trust in such a cold-hearted manner?

    Comment by Sheri — May 8, 2007 @ 8:35 am | Reply

  47. I see you’ve done nothing to attempt reconciliation with me. You had your chance, and yet you took no recourse that would suggest to me that you regret traumatizing the absolute hell out of me by subjecting me to your D-grade short film CRAPFEST.

    Fellow readers, be forewarned of the hyperlink entitled ‘short film’ in post #42. It looks so cute and innocent, but don’t give in to it’s wily charms. It will deceive you by it’s intriguing exterior, but inside it’s pure and unadulterated evil. It is the grand succubus of all hyperlinks.

    Shame on your, John. Now I’ll never be able to get those images out of my head.

    Comment by Sheri — May 8, 2007 @ 8:03 pm | Reply

  48. Well that confirms it… now that you’ve tortured the living hell out of Sheri, I can say that you absolutely are in fact, a dingo-fucker. I knew it all along!

    Comment by Sharon — May 11, 2007 @ 11:46 am | Reply

  49. wuldnt it be funnee if aleins thawt we taysted yummy, lik buble gum and cotton candee and they tryed to eet us??? i lik pink coton candee the most i eet it til it hurts my tummy. my velcrow shooes are pink but mom said i hav 2 were my tie shooes even tho my velcrow shooes half barbie stickrs on them and i lik them mor cause they are pink and haff barbie stickers. do you lik the apple dumpling gang moovey??? my mom said i culd wach it if i stoped asking for a pet bunny rabit so i did. it is soooo silly and funnee just lik u only it maks me want to eet apple dumplings!! i askd jesus to mak me want to stop wering my barbie shooes cause my mom tryed to steel them only i cryed so she gave them bak but jesus maks me feel prety when i where them so i told my mom if she let me kep my shooes i wuldnt ask for a pet rabit. i am glad rabits dont tayst lik cotton candy cause i wuld eet them! bye!

    Comment by Verbena — May 13, 2007 @ 7:04 pm | Reply

  50. I HATE YOUR UFO PICTURE!!!!!!!! I am sick to death of it. Post something new or else I will toss your blog on the crap-blog scrap heap like I did with Suzy’s. All I ask is that you update often enough that warrants me checking it once or twice a week. Crommo is the only one around here who keeps things interesting, except for Ed but at the moment, he has a legitimate excuse, whereas you’re just more concerned about completing modding work for Phil to care that your blog is CRAP. Fuck your stupid UFO pic, and fuck you!!!

    Comment by Sheri — June 3, 2007 @ 1:52 am | Reply

  51. Cool! A new comment!

    Comment by april15th — June 3, 2007 @ 2:58 am | Reply

  52. Awww… I feel bad… I didn’t mean it, John… except for the part where I said I hated your UFO pic… and it belonged in the crap blog scrap heap… and I kinda meant it when I said you could ‘f off’ with your stupid UFO pic. But other than that, I take back everything I said.

    Comment by Sheri — June 3, 2007 @ 6:52 am | Reply

  53. Oh, and I also meant the part that an update every once in awhile would be nice. That’s all.

    Comment by Sheri — June 3, 2007 @ 6:53 am | Reply

  54. If you do not bother to update your site, I shall send down many minions to KICK YOUR ASS. Crommo IS the only one around here who keeps things interesting. It’s lucky someone does. Someone as hot as him. Geez, he is sooooo hot. If I wasn’t already taken by Saddam, I’d go him fo’ sure!


    Comment by Satan — June 5, 2007 @ 1:20 pm | Reply

  55. Sheri, I have new blogs. They’re worth reading too because they’re about McDonalds, and I know how much you………Americans………like McDonalds.

    I think I died a little inside.

    Update soon JP.


    Comment by Blobs — June 16, 2007 @ 3:54 pm | Reply

  56. Yo! Just thought I’d let you know I checked your blog only to be disappointed again.

    Comment by Crommo — June 19, 2007 @ 5:46 pm | Reply

  57. Hey,
    I’ve got an idea for some new content…
    There’s this guy I used to know who took the greatest mark never seen by anyone.
    It deserves an audience.

    I wished you a happy birthday somewhere on the internet btw. See if you can find it!

    Comment by rambeaux — June 28, 2007 @ 1:18 am | Reply

  58. I agree with Crommo. I HATE your f**king blog, and I feel betrayed every time I check it.

    “F**k you… f**k you… you’re cool! … and F**K YOU, I’m out!”

    Comment by Sheri — July 5, 2007 @ 1:09 am | Reply

  59. …And again…

    Comment by crommo — July 26, 2007 @ 1:18 pm | Reply

  60. Keep it up, brother! You’re setting a precedent for most comments for the least updated blog, EVER! It’s a monumental achievement and I for one will not let people like Sheri and Crommo try and intimdate you into writing something new. You just do what you do best, Brother. You procrastinate! PROCRASTINATE! WOOT!

    Comment by Suzy J. — July 27, 2007 @ 3:00 pm | Reply

  61. Maybe it’s the beer talking Marge, but you’ve got a butt that won’t quit! They’ve got these big chewy pretzels..bleaugh..5 dollars? Get outta here…

    Comment by Blobs — August 1, 2007 @ 1:03 pm | Reply

  62. Good day, Officer Uptight McTightAss… I can’t beleiuve you accused me of smoking crack. i ain’t no crack smoker, crack is the poor man’s drug and i got moneyy to spend up in here!!! i do coke btich! haa ha! Ohh calm right the F down obviouslyt i’m joking. exept the part about you being a tight ass! haa ha! right now you are eating your precious lamb dinner and thinking youre better than me because I just had a packet of tropicl fruit skittles and i’m not “hip” enough to eat lamb chops like you young kids do nowadays. well screw you notini! you and your lamb chop eating hooligan friends! i hope you burn your tongue!!!!

    Comment by Sheri — August 6, 2007 @ 7:08 pm | Reply

  63. Really, Sheri, you shouldn’t drink alone. I like that you’re getting regular use out of your hip flask but these week-long binges of yours are a concern for those of us who care about you.

    Comment by april15th — August 6, 2007 @ 7:13 pm | Reply

  64. Ohhh bitch you did NOT just acuse me of being an alcholic! It’s about to go OFF up in here!!!! See, you think just cause you got your mits on some fancy lamb chops that your the cat’s f’in meow well let me tell you BUB… i’m onto your GAME and I’m be DAMNED if I’m gonna be your whipping boy. Not THIS time my friend. just because i enjoy the OCASINOL (dammit! i forgot how to spel ocassonal!! Grrr! well you know wat i mean) vodka cooler does NOT make me a drink!!!!!! at least i can let loose and fun once in awhile unlike “some” people i know! wat the hell is wrong with you anyway????? aww i fel bad now cause i yeled at you, but you started it by getting all stuck up about your damned lamb roast dinner!

    Comment by Sheri — August 6, 2007 @ 7:23 pm | Reply

  65. im sorry i yelled at you. frends???

    Comment by Sheri — August 6, 2007 @ 7:31 pm | Reply

  66. I need at least 6-12 hours to get over that vitriolic diatribe.

    Comment by Ed — August 6, 2007 @ 10:12 pm | Reply

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